So, I'm sitting here in bed, looking at the "Pissy Peacock" painting I started in high school (Four years ago. Almost five) and finished in high school. Then I got it out a year later and was like: "Oh dear God, why didn't someone tell me how HORRID this is?! Do my friends really hate me that much? Or were they as delusional as I was?" So I redid it. And then, I looked at it and said, no, that's not right at all. And redid it again. And then I screwed up and had to redo the entire body. Now, I'm looking at it with distain but at the same time, love. Why love? Well, because this painting in itself has improved my oil painting skills...and maybe also enabling my inner art perfectionist. That's another reason why I haven't finished it. I want to put something out there that I'm amazing at. That shows what I can do and how damn well I can do it. Because I know I can do it. And it does look a lot better than it did. So this summer, I am making it my mission to finish this Pissy Peacock. No, I will not be selling it. I've put too much of my life and myself into this painting to sell it. It will not happen. I will be buried with this painting.
I also started drawing this girl. The only damned problem? Her lips. Her lips are the problem, oh and lets not forget her cock-eyed eyes. I first started drawing her in math, yes I know, bad, and then I transfered her to my sketch book. Now, she looks like crap because I had to change how I did things. I have high expectations of myself, and I'm a perfectionist. Oh good lord, I'm my own worst nightmare. In my opinion though, it is better to have high expectations than no expectations.
One of these days, I'm going to finish something that I'm proud of. That I don't look back at and say: "That could be so much better if I just..."